tms week three

 

(Snuck a super-flattering selfie for you guys. The black thing on the left is a cushion that I rest my head on. The weird contraption stuck on my forehead is what they use to measure where my head/brain is located which is then translated to the computer screen in front of me. The large thing on the right is the actual magnet, where the pulses "shoot" through.)

I don't have much to say about this week except... it hurt.

I think it will just hurt from here on out.

Every Monday, I am given a questionnaire of sorts.

Every Monday, I rate myself on a scale of 1-4 in 20-30 ways.

My happiness.

My energy.

My health.

Etc.

Every other week, my total score is 36-38.

Which is in the "Severely Depressed" range.

This week, however, my score was 18.

I was in shock. (no pun intended.)

I recounted about 20x to be sure.

I KNOW that's a win.

But this week as a whole, since I woke up Monday morning, has felt like one huge loss.

I feel like I've taken 5 steps backward.

Like my mind and body aren't syncing.

Here's hoping week four brings clarity and peace.

And maybe, just maybe, a little less pain.

(Only 6 more weeks to go...)