Invalidation:
There's a fire!
You're overreacting. What's wrong with you? There's no fire.
Um, there's a fire here!
You're crazy! Just blow it out! (Just stop!)
(after many cycles of being invalidated)
Okay, there's no fire. (What's wrong with me?)
Good job! I told you!
Validation:
Fire! Fire! Fire!
Oh no! What can I do to help?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a simple change of phrasing can stop your loved one from spiraling.
They don't need you tell them they're crazy.
Trust me, they already think they are.
They don't need to be told to "just stop."
Like it's a switch they turned on for fun.
(This is not fun.)
You may not understand the "fire", but lucky for you, validating is not agreeing.
It's coming to their level.
Seeing them where they are and asking what they need to move forward.
You're not being asked to fix anything.
They need to know they aren't alone and you'll love them through this.
No comments:
Post a Comment