a short introduction

It's been quiet on here for over two years now.

I was coming out of extensive outpatient group therapy and was sharing my experience.

I was healing from a great, deep depression and wanted to help those who found themselves in the same place.

But, some people like memoirs...stories after everything has been completed.

I prefer step-by-step tutorials.

Either way, I felt a time to be silent.

So, here I am.

Writing once again in this space I created over 15 years ago.

Hi! My name is Lauren.

This is my quiet re-introduction.

I live a sweet life.

A hardworking and very handy (and handsome) Husband.

A pre-teen and mini-me (for better or worse.)

A red-headed, soccer loving boy.

There's housework and deadlines.

Depression that still visits.

Joy that keeps surprising me.

Most days, I'm learning how to hold it all in both hands.

I write.

I overshare.

I crave community.

Some days I feel blessed.

Some days I feel heavy.

Both can be true.

I love painting things green.

Buying plants.

Talking to ChatGPT like an extra family member.

People canceling plans.

Broadway musicals.

Being both with and without my kids.

I carry grief.

I carry hope.

I carry the memory of a decade lost to depression.

I'm still working on the fact that "normal" people have bad days and not everything means I'll spiral.

I'm working on accepting the love people show me, telling myself that I do deserve it.

I'm working on slowing down and being present.

I'm sensitive.

I overthink.

I care deeply.

I spent years trying to hide those qualities.

Not knowing they can also be my super powers.

What you'll find at the messy blog:

-true life reflections of a Christian daughter, sister, wife, and mother with depression

-reminders that you are never alone

-lessons learned (usually the hard way)

-Tuesday letters and Friday joys

-things my kids say that make me giggle

Your mess is welcome here.