My last post was a "happy little one" about waiting.
Little did you know, I was expecting something big to happen
(cue "perfect job.")
Little did I know, not an hour later, "perfect job" would be taken off the table completely.
So now I'm swallowing some of those things I wrote.
"Pray."
"Be grateful for what you have."
"Smile."
I'm at a complete loss for words and I can feel my faith draining.
Earlier this summer, everything was "perfect."
After years of battling infertility, Brandon and I found out we were pregnant.
Then, I got an amazing teaching position at a
(seemingly) wonderful school.
2 of our biggest prayer requests answered.
Once the school found out I was pregnant and would need maternity leave, they withdrew their offer.
Crushed.
Fast forward a few months, another "perfect"
(this time, non-teaching) position seemed to fall into my lap.
It would use my organization, party planing skills, creativity, plus give me more hours to have a comfortable security for our growing family.
This afternoon, it walked away.
Crushed.
I wish I could say right now I feel confident that it will all be okay.
I wish I could say that being a pastor's wife means I never have unwavering faith.
But I can't bring myself to lie to you, to myself.
I'm not writing this to receive pity.
Normally, I keep things light and airy on here, or I wait until the storm has passed to tell you what God brought us through.
But right now, I need prayers, encouragement, and maybe some hugs
(and Kleenex's.)
