when I started medication...

 when it started (here)  when it was time for help (here)  when we came here (here)  

when we started therapy (here)  when my "if" changed to "and" (here)

Why I fight. These three right here.


While things still feel upside down in my little corner of the world, I thought I'd get back on here and continue my journey through depression and anxiety.

This is the post I've been waiting for.

The test that changed my life.

Here, in Arkansas, I have been blessed with the best group of doctors.

They work together and constantly remind me that my health is just as important to them as it is to me.

When I consulted my PCP (primary care physician) about my depression, he wisely admitted that he only knew so much about that field and would only prescribe what he felt comfortable. If things didn't change, he'd immediately refer me to a psychiatrist. (BIG change from my doctor in Kentucky, who threw three medications at me just to see what stuck.)

After six months or so, with no real change, we knew we'd need to take that next step.

I had already been seeing a therapist and making progress with her, but she agreed that a psychiatrist could be super helpful.

I believe it was Kerry (my therapist) that introduced me to the Gene Sight test.

I feel like I owe her my life. 

The results of that test gave me (and my doctors) answers.

Answers I'd been searching for for years.

I remember crying as I read the results.

Not only did this test provide lists of medications that my body would accept, it also provided a list of medications to stay away from, according to my DNA.

(Oddly enough, I had been taking one medication from the "red list" for almost one year!)



The most amazing gift that test gave me was the reasoning behind why my mind was broken.

There, in black and white, (with the help of Google for all the "science-y" words,) I read that I had a serotonin issue as well as the MTHFR mutation. Both of which cause depression, anxiety, and every.single.symptom I've dealt with for years.

Finally, after feeling like a crazy person, a stranger in my own body, I had hard evidence that proved otherwise.

With these results, my psychiatrist has been able to clearly guide and direct my journey towards healing.

Unfortunately, it's still a trial and error. 

Most medications stop working after months of use, so we have to start all over every so often.

It's frustrating, the starting over.

It comes with withdrawal symptoms and weeks of anticipation, seeing if the new medication will work.

But we at least have a map.

And I still have a God who heals.

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