Blessings.

Since starting my year as a 2nd grade teacher, I have been overwhelmed. I've been stressed out, worried, anxious, fearsome, nervous, tired, exhausted...you name it, I felt it. This job is unlike any other. Not only mentally demanding, but physically and even spiritually too. 

I've honestly been questioning God on His reason for bringing me this oppurtunity. I've been stressing over whether or not this is where I need to be. 

Trial after trial, day after day, I couldn't get a break from the craziness.

I took a day to crawl into my Father's lap. I talked to Him like He was sitting next to me. 

I laughed. 

I cried. 

I yelled. 

I broke. 

I started reading the book of Jeremiah. In the first chapter, one phrase kept repeating itself. 

"Do not fear. I am with you always." 

I realized that through the depressing, busy, crazy month I've been having, I began to blindly hide from God. As soon as one storm came, I ran right into another. I slowly built a wall of stress between myself and The Peacemaker. I was blind. I was hiding from Him. Knowing He could take away my burdens, but questioning why He gave them to me in the first place.

That same day, I was driving home and I heard a song on the radio. I only caught the last verse and chorus, but that was all I needed to hear for God to really smack me in the face. I cried, right then and there. It was as if I had written the song without even knowing it, and someone put it to music. I have never heard of the artist and I certainly never met her before, but I know this song was written for me.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise