2017
2018
2019
2020
And this year, we let Hutch choose the song. It's short and sweet. Just what this Mama needed this year.
Enjoy.
2021
12.16.2021
12.10.2021
friday joys
snaggle-toothed grins (Emmerson lost a tooth!) the new smackle of "frecko's" across Hutch's face. (zoom in!) facetimes with baby Jack. warm, cozy, Christmas vibes. wrapping presents. sleepovers in Mommy and Daddy's bed. all.the.Hobby.Lobby.things. making poms. delilah on the radio. documentaries.
12.02.2021
backing up a little... (when my "if" changed to "and")
college babies
Growing up in a strong, Christian community in the 90s,
I was under the belief that if God was within you, depression simply cannot be there too.
For years I struggled with doubt.
I AM in a very dark place and I DO love God...
don't I?
am I really saved?
I remember pieces of the night I asked my mom and dad to pray with me.
I remember being baptized by my dad at the precious age of 6.
But my high school years were racked with fears and doubts.
In college, while ministering next to my (soon-to-be) husband, I reconciled my doubts.
I was having heavy, dark times, therefore, I was not saved.
So, in an emotionally driven (think: last night of summer camp with our youth students worship service,)
I laid down my life.
Again.
Thinking THIS time, it'll work.
THIS time, I won't feel anymore depression and anxiety.
My (soon-to-be) husband baptized me.
All my doubts flew away.
The end.
HA.
Fast forward a few years (full of even more doubts and fears) and I realized this wasn't an "if" situation.
IF I'm a Christian, there cannot be depression.
IF I love God, I won't have anxiety.
The world, and Lauren, had to see that it was an "and" situation.
I AM a Christian AND I have depression.
I love God AND I have anxiety.
That thinking changed how I viewed, well, everything.
I knew I had a secure relationship with Christ AND I also had something mis-firing in my brain.
The two CAN hold hands.
(turning to medication on my next post...)
11.02.2021
hutch says {part four}
Hutch: I wanno go cry in hammock.
Honestly, I get it, kid.
Emmerson: Hola!
Hutch: ELSA!
In the car...
But...I want the moon on my side.
Look! That house is coming with us!
Emmerson: Look! That's cool. They put a manger at the hospital!
Me: Yeah! That's cool! Hutch, that's where you were born. Up there!
Hutch: Yeah! In the hay!
I get LOTS of kisses.
I like your mask. It makes my heart so happy.
*hugs*
Ewwww. You're kissing again and that's yucky.
Sister. You're being so nice to me. It makes my heart so happy!
Seeing a spider hanging down from a web for the first time...
THEY CAN FLY?!?!
Okay.
*big exhale*
I can do this.
You got this.
I can walk on walls.
Here I go.
Full speed runs toward the wall.
He has us laughing preeeeetty much from sun up to sun down. This kid. Man, I love this kid.
10.26.2021
friday night lights
(Brother was off entertaining the masses.)
I love this small town of ours.
(Fun fact: this is the longest place I have ever stayed put in my entire life. Let's shoot for forever, God!)
The kids are finally both old enough that going to football games are actually fun and not "where's my kid?- did he fall in between the bleachers?- no,we aren't going to the bathroom again." stressful.
Half the team/band/cheerleaders are a part of the youth group.
The stands are full of church families.
Hutch marches from one group of people to another, entertaining them with his knowledge of dinosaurs, cool voices, fighting bad guys, etc.
Emmerson begs for candy the entire time and asks me all her football questions.
(I answer confidently, because, naturally, I totally know what's going on.)
We're smack dab in the middle of our community, surrounded by stand-in family, and I can't help but be filled with joy.
I love this small town of ours.
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